JOINT FAMILY SYSTEM CURSE OR BLESSSING


INTRODUCTION
Joint Family is a type of extended family composed of parents, their children, and the children’s spouses and offspring in one household. In Pakistan previously Joint family system was found in a large number and was the most prefer system in Pakistan but now in Today’s world of globalization and urbanization joint family system is losing its roots and family system in Pakistan has been converted in nuclear family system.
Both the system joint and nuclear has its own advantages and disadvantages but today I will only discuss JOINT FAMILY SYSTEM. Both the systems advantages and disadvantages are based of personal experience of individual and different from one another.

JOINT FAMILY SYSTEM

FINANCIAL SUPPORT

In my opinion some people prefer joint family system on different basis sometime on the basis of financial support because in joint family system financial burden is shared by all the members of the family.

DISADVANTAGE: When financial burden is shared by all members than it will reduce burden and people will divide their responsibility and feel relax but in my opinion this is not rite because I have seen families living in joint family system sharing burden of each other but not happily they consider others as a burden and want to live their own life but later on it is not possible and when financial burden will be supported by other members than the members who will be dependent on other for supporting financially will stop struggling and they want the same support from other whole life and this thing is not possible and in this financial crisis time. Later on these things create problems and became the cause of tension among family members.

CLASH OF OPINIONS

In joint family system love and respect is the most important factor for elders and all the family members. This system is being control by the dominating member of the family and his or her say really matters and this has also some disadvantage.

DISADVANTAGE: Its not like that I am against joint family system but the things is that all these points which I am explaining to my readers is based on my own personal experience. In joint family system one family member is the dominating head which result in disrespect and clash of opinions of other members. Excessive stress and lack of tolerance level among us result in clash off all the members on the basis of difference of opinion. All people have the right to express the feeling and share the opinion and lead the lives on the basis of their own choice but if other individual will disagree with the head of the family than it will be consider as disrespect. So at the end of the day no mutual respect an love left among individual.

JOINT FAMILY SYSTEM PREFER OLD NORMS

In the joint family system old norms and values are so strong that if someone dare to change it than he or she will be consider as different. This system really supports community basis and same caste and race. If a family member want to get married out of the community than it will be hard for the new member to adjust and it will be hard for others members of the family to adjust themselves with the other community members and this is the reason why joint family support same community because the new will not aspect the norms of the family and results in disorganized family. So it become really hard for a new comer to adjust her self and it definitely results in clash and disturbance. So people living in joint family system should get married on the basis of their family choice in this way only life will be easy for all the members.

CONCLUSION

There are so many points to write but rite but now I am not at all feeling well so I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of joint family system in detail in my next blog. And all my readers can take this blog as an introductory blog for such a debatable topic but as far some of these points are concerned are totally on basis of my personal experience. As far I am concerned later in my life I will not prefer Joint family system because My experience in joint family system is not at all good and I always have a clash because of my thinking and in joint family system all members opinions doesn’t matter but this is not the disadvantage. We the individuals are making joint family system the worst system otherwise this system can be the best in future.

21 comments on “JOINT FAMILY SYSTEM CURSE OR BLESSSING

  1. zafar ul haq says:

    HI

    I WANT TO ASK A QUESTION?
    LIKE US WE ARE 4-BROTHER AND ONE SISTER ELDER.SISTER IS MARRIED AND HAPPY.OUR BUSINESS OF 4-BROTHERS IS ONE AND UNDER ONE ROOF. MY FATHER IS SUPPORTING ALL OUR FINANCIAL NEEDS.

    NOW WE ALL BROTHERS ARE MARRIED.ME AND MY YOUNGER BROTHER LIVES WITH MY FATHER AND MOTHER.2-ELDER BROTHER LIVES SEPARATELY.

    BUT STILL ALL EXPANSES ARE BARED MY FATHER.EVEN YOU BE AMAZED THAT OUR FATHER DON’T ALLOW US TO OPEN ANY BANK ACCOUNT.HE SAYS OUR STRENGTH IS BUSINESS.

    NOW AS WE BOTH BROTHER LIVES UNDER ONE ROOF MY FATHER AND MOTHER IGNORE ME WHAT EVER MY YOUNGER BROTHER DO HE IS NEVER SCOLDED MY PARENTS DON’T SHOW ANY AGGRESSION TO HIM BUT IF I DO THE SAME MY PARENTS SCOLD ME SHOW AGGRESSION AND MY YOUNGER DO WHAT EVER WHETHER HE COMES HOME LATE WITH FAMILY HE NEVER BE SAID YOU ARE WRONG BUT TO ME THEY START AGGRESSION.

    THE THING WHAT I DID WHEN I WAS MARRIED WAS WRONG BUT NOW YOUNGER DOING THE SAME THEY ARE HAPPY.

    Y.

    I NEED ANSWER.

  2. mushtaq ahmad says:

    i want joint family system.

  3. Rameez says:

    @Zafira
    Dear,
    Don’t you think every house has a leader in form of a man . Even in nuclear family system , you have man as a head of the family and he decides almost all matters of the household. This is also dictatorship but if man takes opinions of his wife and children then it is not dictatorship . Same goes with joint family system .

    • Rameez says:

      Yes u r right , if you read my previous comment i mentioned some of these points. I agree with whole of your comment except this part
      ” (I actually meant female, as in Islam women lead the house!) “

  4. Zafira says:

    curse, curse, curse…. life sentencing and disruption to all the members as only “HEAD” will lead others – dictatorship. based on life example

  5. gunapriya says:

    we really liked ur blog bt can u please give ur some mor advantages or disadvantages about this joint family…………..

  6. hayat khan says:

    well,i studied ur article & got many things new 4 me.

  7. Sr says:

    In Islam there is no room of a joint family system. People living in Pakistan jointly is a “norm” taken from ancient india. Islam never describes responsibilities of saas and bahu. So many times in Hadees and Quran Allah has asked Muslims to take care of parents, is anything said about parents in law once? A girl is supposed to offer pardah from brothers in law. How can she be asked to live with na-mehrams in the same house?
    How people should take care of parents in an Islamic way is to live close, visit frequently or daily, support financially and morally and being on good terms. Not by asking their wife to cook for them and do whats not her duty. That is just pure ignorance.

  8. Maverick says:

    This piece of writing is certainly good…….. Though in my Opinion the writer has stressed too much on the demerits JOINT FAMILY SYSTEM……… Which has been prevalent in our Ancient India……… But still,good job done…… Thank You!

  9. Maverick says:

    Bakwaaas

  10. As you mentioned in the beginning , both systems have advantages and disadvantages ….. i like joint family system but if it has the following properties

    1) Elder or head of family must listen to all the members’ opinion before taking decision.
    2) No force on marrying the same community member.
    3) Education of children must not get affected , as many people living in same house can cause disturbance , so everyone must understand if examinations or tests are going on of any child so they should do their best not to disturb him.
    4) All people must share financial problems , but none of the family member should depend completely on other and everyone must who is capable , contribute in financial problems.
    5) If some member is breaking any old tradition his arguments must be listened , and he should be allowed to do so until he is physically hurting someone or abusing someone.

  11. shubham says:

    yes u r right………………………………..

  12. Abdul Nasir says:

    regarding the joint family system I would to start my comments from the saying of Hazarat Ali {R.A} who is stated to have said that a society can stand on faithlessness but it can not live without justice. So the same is the case in the joint family system. If there is justice it can work well but in the absence of justice the joint family is nothing but a curse and depression.
    Now the question arises whether in all the joint families the members do justice or they endure the cruelty. In my opinion the later is true as it is impossible that the people would have done justice with their other members of the family.
    The reason of not doing justice is little bit hyper technical to understand. In this respect my opinions are that that most of the people lack the wisdom to understand the true spirit of justice. For realizing the true spirit of justice one has to be quite fair, honest, straightforward, wise, vigilant and in short he should have extra ordinary qualities of administering justice. He should care even the smallist thing like the toys of a child. Besides this he should be very concerned about the ego of married boys and girls of the family qua their marital life, He should also be carefull about needs of children and that it is also the duty of the elders to assign responsibilities to the younger ones according to their capibilities and qualification unlike the generally adopted method of distributing the same on the basis of quota system.
    So for achieving all these goals each and every joint family needs a elder of such qualities that he can manage his family in a very just and proper method but in fact such personalities are very rare in the world therefore it would be proper to let every one on his own way.

  13. faizan says:

    sorry but i dont agree with one point of urs that a person should only marry with in the community…..just to make his or her family happy…..after all its your life and u have to live it not your family……thats what i think

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