PAKISTAN DIVORCE RATE INCREASING. Why?


Typically a marriage always starts from a happy note. Both partners are falling in love with each other and early marriage life is really beautiful. They feel that they are really blessed to have found a perfect partner in life. Many couples experience negative changes in their marriages after several years when they start living together and come to know about each other’s habits. Their early happy married lives are replaced by many arguments and fights. The couple cannot live together without having an argument under one roof and when things become unbearable for both than they decide to go for divorce.
”AND IF YOU FEAR THAT THE TWO (I.e) Husband and wife) may not be able to keep the limits ordered by ALLAH, there is no blame on either of them if she redeems herself (from marriage tie) Surah Al Baqarah:
The rate of divorce is increasing in Pakistan from the last few decades. In the past, the word ‘divorce’ was unheard in Pakistani society and it was considered a shame. Pakistan is a conservative country and the word ‘divorce’ comes with a stigma attached to it. Many women who are unhappy will not opt for divorce because of the ‘label’ attached to it. Previously women had to compromise due to various reasons; financial burden, social pressure from society and lack of family support because of that they will remain in an unhappy marriage and will not go for divorce. Parents were also not supportive and when a girl was getting married the first thing they will induce in mind of a girl that you have to compromise no matter what the circumstances are. But things are not the same anymore, mind sets are changing. The most important factor which is contributing in high rate of divorce in Pakistan is financial independence of women, lack of compromise from both sides and intolerant attitude. Women are acquiring higher education and contributing their due share in every sector of society and they are not a burden anymore. Working women who are financially strong are less willing to work on their marriages and can quickly opt for divorce. When a woman is financially strong she doesn’t feel the need to compromise on worst marital relationship.
Women in Pakistan are not the scapegoat of men anymore and they don’t tolerate the dominance of men. Social change has played a vital role in changing the backward mentality of people about women empowerment. Women are able to support their living without anyone’s help. They are fully aware about their rights and know the way to defend them.
The rate of divorce is higher among educated families, although such laws had been made which totally support women seeking divorce and the whole procedure has been made easier. Although Pakistan is a male dominating society and men want their wives to stay at home, look after their children and want them not to think about their career. Sometimes this situation becomes worse due to lack of compromise from both sides and egotistical attitude. Lack of tolerance and compromise among couples plays a vital role in increase in rate of divorce in Pakistan. Compromise is a key factor which can make life easier and save from destruction.

WHAT CAN BE DONE TO REDUCE THE DIVORCE RATE IN PAKISTAN?
There has been a substantial rise in the divorce rate in almost every part of the world in the last decade or so, especially in Pakistan. The question that comes to mind is that what can be done about it? The consequences of divorce are bad, although some people believe otherwise. According to some people, staying in a bad marriage is worse than taking a divorce. Studies being done today suggest that divorce can have a lasting impact on your health
Firstly, commitment is a very important thing. Marriage is not an easy task, and so one must take some time to get to know the other person. If marriage takes place after a very short time period of meeting and getting to know each other, some very crucial details about one another can be overlooked. Therefore, to reduce this risk, decisions should not be made in a hurry and more time should be spent in getting to know the person better. Showing tolerance towards each other is also very important. Patience is the key to any successful marriage.
Forced marriages and early marriages are a reality in Pakistan thus, this needs to be stopped. Marriage is a big decision in one’s life, and should be taken, only when one is mature enough to handle all that comes with it. Compromise is very important, and without it no marriage can succeed. Nowadays, individuals are impatient and this leads to the end of relationships. Compromise can reduce such a thing from occurring. Status needs to be talked about here. Today, we see that people of different classes are marrying each other. Is this really good?
Disparities are created leading to problems in the long run. Thus, it is recommended that you marry in a class that is similar to yours. This would lower the divorce rate. Too much of a third party influence is also one reason why couples end up wanting a divorce. Couples should be able to sort out issues on their own, rather than having someone else cause problems in their lives. At times, the reason for a divorce is also because women don’t take family life seriously, because of their own careers. If this can be looked into, many marriages would not break. Men too, in some cases have the same issue. Although, they are the ones who earn for the family, but still they need to give time and attention to it. A feeling of superiority towards the spouse is another factor that causes problems between the couple. This can be from either side. Divorce can be reduced by correcting this. Lack of privacy also causes divorce. In joint family systems, there is little privacy, which can cause problems between the couple. Many couples choose to live in such a setup because, either they cannot afford to live separately or the husband does not wish to leave his family. If the option is there, one should live separately which would cause less problems, and hence less chances of divorce.
Basically, all the ‘causes’ of divorce should be looked into and corrected. That is the only way, in which the divorce rate can come down. As I see it, there is only one solution and that is ‘Compromise and Sacrifice for each other.’ This will only lead to a happy marriage. Divorce is something that leaves a huge impact in your life. The consequences are bad. It is taken when one has no other option left. Working on your ties is important. A subtle factor which is contributing its share is the glamorous world, where everyone is hunting for his or her ideal. This factor led us away from the facts of real life. That is why, while knowing all the disadvantages of divorce, people go with it. Globally speaking our world can not afford gender imbalance which comes as a result of divorce. Wedlock is not a compulsion but should be the relation of souls. Mutual tolerance and compromise between husband and wife can play a vital role in lowering the rate of divorce in Pakistan.

67 comments on “PAKISTAN DIVORCE RATE INCREASING. Why?

  1. sehrish says:

    ambr ap rishta bnana chahti hen ya busns deal?i thnk muslims me shadi ka triqa sb ce zada bst he.ye agriments deals rishte ni bna skti mind it

  2. sehrish says:

    a.o.a.i m too broken fmly victom.mra mshwra he k ap agr apne bete ce pyar krte hen bht to ap uce apni cstdy me lo.r jis ce shadi kro use pehle btao k bibi mra baby ek responsabl mthr chahta he.phr shadi kro.apka prblm slv in sha allah.bt aftr mariage bv ki bato pe ankh bnd kr k blv mt krna.apne bete ce cmunication gap mt ane dna na ye smjhna k bs zrort ki hd tk tik he.apki trf ce ap k bete ce apka rishta mzbot hne ka time bchpan he uce propr time dna evn hr chz ko nzr me rkhna

  3. amber says:

    u all are mad…. why ru marrying, just do only contract marriage .like 1 or 2 years, or more than that, have sex n understand each other. but no kids,,, if understanding is there thn do proper marriage… regards

  4. aslam ali says:

    agar tallaq hi deni ha to shaadi hi na kerain.

  5. ameena says:

    1 to pehle hi muje independance ka masla raha ha jbse mene apne nakhonda khandan me apne rights ko jana ha , mre strict khandan k back ground se jbke wo prhe likhe ni ha yahan to educated logon ka ye hal ha.

    • Sibtain Aslam says:

      Life is a compromise dear. Zindagi Jabr e Musalsal ki tarah kati he Faraz
      Jane kis Jurm ki saza pai he yaad nahi.
      Qyran says there is ease after every difficulty so patient

  6. ameena says:

    ye sun k to ab dar lag ra ha

  7. ............ says:

    Hi Friends,

    I need a personal advise from all of the fellows. I am 31 male, divorced, though very well settled financially and professionally. I am done with my previous relationship last year. Now there are few things which keep on bothering me.

    1.. My son who is currently 2 years of age is with my ex-wife, ( My ex is professional lady and leaves the son with her issueless step- mother ( grand maternal step mother of the son), and doing the job in medical profession.

    2.. I had already filed a case for child custody, but as the child is of minor age, i dont think so i will get the son at this tender age, where as my ex had filed a case against me regarding her dowry, maintenance ( for the time in which she was not living with me), child maintenance etc… ( Though i am sending the money order for child maintenance from very first day but she refused to accept it and demanded high amount from the court).

    Now i am confused regarding the future course of action, i should adopt, my old age parents are really willing that i should marry soon, and i myself want to move on with the life. But most of the people are reluctant for proposal of their daughter, and to accept the kid, if he gets back to me, where as my heart , soul, and every memory of my mind keep on reminding me regarding my son. I am confused either i should try to get child custody once he attain the age of 5 -6 years, where as per religion and per law ( the custody of the child is given considering his welfare) , but i am confused that if i marry to some girl now, she will be able to take care of that scenario ??? OR i should leave the kid with my ex wife, who will also marry soon, and will leave the son with her issueless step mother. i am not bothered about dowry cases, as these cases take several years for decision, and i am ready to pay child maintenance which is my responsibility but within limits.
    e.g i am ready to pay 6-8k per month for him, not 65k/month, as demanded by my ex.)

    The reason i am trying to seek guidance over here, as i want neutral opinion, and i will respect all the opinions either in my favour or against me. Please give your opinoon ( NB: Please no abuse, no bad words, lets show we the world we are mature enough).

    Regards.

    • sszadia says:

      can u give me the reasons which were behind this separation.
      Kindly share it if you don’t mind. I am doing my PhD on this topic. if possible kindly give me your email id. so I will e mail my question paper. thanks in anticipation.

    • Sibtain Aslam says:

      Its not a wrong decision which you have made. I donot know the causes of your divorce because you have not mentioned in your question. Any how if to live under one roof becomes impossible for husband and wife and the matter reaches to the heights of intolerance from both the sides not a single gender is compromising then divorce is the only solution. Financially independent ladies are also not willing to accept superiority of men over them which Allah almighty has given. What I think a mother can take care of his kids in a better way than a divorced married husband, where the child would be on step mother or step brothers and sisters. I have seen and observed so many cases where step mother treats step son or daughter as a servant of her kids and do not let it show to the real father which is much teasing for a child psychologically and emotionally. A time comes in the life of father when father also starts hating his first son/ daughter due to wrong feeding of second mother. It happens but this is unconscious process where a husband feels yes all the wrong doings are due to that specific child.

  8. When taking a photo, you can’t do anything about it.
    I allowed my silliness and quirkiness to show and I began to
    attract loyal followers who appreciated that silliness and quirkiness.
    Now mind you, this all takes place between the hours of 10pm and
    3am.

  9. Women became a strong presence in the workforce. They no longer depended on their husbands to support them. This independence allowed them to leave an unhappy marriage and still provide for themselves.

    But i think that education and poverty is the cuz of divorce

  10. syed says:

    It is not a problem.If a couple is not compatible,they should not live together

  11. Sana says:

    The reason people are getting divorce is be cuz woman are educated now they are tired of being oppressed by theirs husband and the husbands family
    Women are tired of being a slave in there own house tired of having to come second to there dear mother in law
    Tired of having to live with there in laws and having to deal with there drama everyday
    It’s not be cuz they watch to many dramas on tv it’s be cuz they are tired of there mother in laws drama in the house every day

  12. umair says:

    nice article

  13. s s zaidi says:

    i am a student of p.hd,my research topic is پاکستانی معاشرے میں متعلقہ خواتین کے قانونی و سماجی مسایل if you and other readers have any point or any facing any kind of problem regarding myh research topic kindly mail wich will be help full for me. thanks.

  14. arooj says:

    hello im student of master im doing thesis on the psychological impact of parental divorce on educatioal performance of their children….
    so kindly ask me about the topic
    that education is effected or not??by parental divorce.

  15. Younis says:

    Divorce is rising because women want to be the boss. The bollywood movies and pakistani dramas are the things that corrupt their minds. Someone asked me about pakistani culture. We have only the Hindu culture. Pakitani women wearing tight jeans and bindis trying to be Indians. What do you expect. Very few pakistani men abroad will want to marry a Pakistani girl cos they know they are very cunning. Pakistani women use to be religious now they have gone the other way. I can’t believe that in Pakistan they celebrate Valentines Day in a big way. Yet I don’t know a single Pakistani abroad celebrating this occasion. Sad, sad. That’s why they are alone.

  16. kamran says:

    I am utter against early marriage because it mostly brings about the matter of divorce in our society none has care about the rights of a woman where as we are folded in ISLAM which is the best religion of islam.

  17. M.Azam says:

    hi,
    i think divorce is a singh .

    we live in peace and hormony as a good Muslim.

    we should preach Islam .

    thanks

  18. huma says:

    a very good article

  19. babar says:

    dont use abuse words about woman because every person have mother,sisters and other relation with woman so control yourself and give your best suggestion because divorce is a social problem. as a student this is our responsibility to control the divorce problem which over country is facing……….be care…….

  20. usman ali says:

    marriage before nikha is agreement.when this agreement is signed by both sides it become commitment. then commitment is a commitment. from my observation divorce question is arise at time when both sides dont care of your responsibilities.without wife no life.every man wants his wife stay in home and try give good teaches her children for for development of better society.when they understand these thing there is no divorce question is arise.

  21. ah says:

    hi
    i totally disagree from this that divorses are due to women ( wther they are financially independent or not). problem is mostly with the loyalty of men towards his partner. there are men outside in Pakistan are not willing to take responsibility of his wife financially and morally> when they have been asked to do it they run awar fron their promices.
    secondly I believe those men who are not close to Quaran an dIslam ( yet they claim to be muslim) they do such steps.
    Extra marital affair by men is a very common factor for divorces. Letme tell u even in that scenario women in pkaistan is there to compromise however men doesnot stand up and donot take resposnibility of two wife).
    aboveall I would say that divorse is the most unwanted act as declared by GOD ( stated as Gunah Kabeerah).
    Men shud watch out if they believe in AKHART

    • amber shah says:

      hello
      who so ever you are , if you will talk about Quran and sunnat than you must know that wife is bound to obey her husband in either case, i dont say that he is not responsible , he is but to god not to wife, but in any case she is bound to obey her husband and her husbands honour and esteem is great for woman , as prophet said that if some one would be there after Allah for sajida , than i would obey woman to offer sajida to her husband , so she is not allowed to disobey , if she will not disobey and would consider her limits and her husbands honour, than not possible that this relation will reach on talaq
      Allah Hafiz

      • Sibtain Aslam says:

        Dear sister 100%ntly agree with your view point. Its not your view point but Islamic and Quranic view point. The girls of the day want complete freedom and independence. They consider this life a romantic movie not a reality which sometimes is bitter. Latest movies and Indian dramas have spoiled them. They do not want to live in joint family system. They have no patience to listen a single statement ( a suggestion or a piece of advice) of their father in law or mother in law. They are crazy for outing, shopping and fast foods all the times. The reality is they have to be compromising with their husbands because every husband is not billionaire. They have to wait for better future because circumstances cannot be changed overnight. A lady has her rights, as a mother, sister, wife and daughter But there is a limit for every one. Every mother thinks that her daughter in law should serve her by living with her but wants to marry her daughter in small family where there is no sister of boy and mother of the is already died. A husband has all the responsibilities to take care of family kids and keep her wife happy by fulfilling her due demands. But girls of the day want upper hand over their husbands, they expect from their husbands that they should obey them as Murshad.
        I personally have observed so many brainless husbands in market who is carrying purse of her wife in one hand, shopping in the other hand, taking care of the kids as well, whereas tightfitting dopattaless wife is roaming in the market as if nobody is watching her.
        What i think today’s education is making girls ignorant of social set up. The highly educated a woman is the more rash behaviour she would be having with her husband.
        Sheikh Saadi says: Education teaches a person humbleness. Higher the educated person is the more humble he should be. In our society the situation is contrary both in men and women.

  22. ramisha says:

    pudieyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  23. sehar says:

    dontr care not bothered

  24. sehar says:

    dont care not bothered

  25. malika says:

    I disagree that educated females intend to not live in family ties.Education means vigilance to identify your rights and duties,a working lady can better cater to her family life.It is the bias attitude of our society which makes difficult for a working female to manage her work and family.
    Malika

    • amber says:

      very good, yar malika
      really good thinking but unfortunately i my self expereince this , that i got married on july but divroce within days, she was MBA and she was not ready to obey her husband and family ties.

    • amber says:

      very good, yar malika
      really good thinking but unfortunately i my self expereince this , that i got married on july but divroce within days, she was MBA and she was not ready to obey her husband and family ties.secondly you said that working woman,i think that woman is not for work,she is for house purpose. serve husband and remain in pardha, if it is said that age has gone change than rules of Allah cant not be changed by the change of age

      • sanacheema says:

        u said that women is not for work ,m dear frind u r worng,Hazrat Ayesha was a working lady ,if a woman works with in the limitations given by Islam as well as her husband then she is not worng……buz wife is not just a wife she also have some dreams…….plz give them respect……………………sanacheema

      • sszadia says:

        asalamu alikum . surely it is your personal matter. but can you discusses with me regarding the issues of your divorce? may be there should be many factors. like family system, class difference, age difference, financial issues, joint family system et. kindly do me a favor, if possible I will send you a questioner and are you will be able to fill it. thanks

    • Sibtain Aslam says:

      Rights rights and rights, do you think all the rights are for women. There are some social and moral obligations which a wife has to follow. It would be khudgharzi to talk about you rights and do not respect the feelings of others.
      Sorry if my comment bothers you.

  26. amber shah says:

    i am from dubai and origionally pakistani, the matter is not sexual satisfaction and not a dominance, this is the system of Allah that he created two different sex and has given both different roles , duties limits.Allah has given dominance on woman if any one wants to know can see Holy Quran. woman is for home purpose and she is bound to obey her husband , she must not know the outside enviornment.those woman who are divorced again coming for exhibition on net or any site, is better or better to obey and respect of the husband, if these woman can earn and fincial independant, employers are giving them money without any work, these woman are scolded and abused at the work place and bound to the employer for 8 -10 hours, this scolding is better to listen husband scolding, and this bound is better to husband bound. if husband will punish or scold or oder that is her duty , but if she is going out of home this great insult for her that they are being scolded and abused, becuase man is her gurdian but employer is not her gurdian, he is taking work from her and giving her salary
    sincerely

    • sanacheema says:

      hi,um sanacheema,your whole massage is good enough…..lakin agar husband MUHAFIZ ki bejaye HAKIM ban jy to……………..?

    • ............ says:

      @Amber Shah

      Mashallah you have very nice understanding regarding the role and responsibility of woman in the marriage life, i wish all the female start thinking on this note. Regards

  27. maha siddiqui says:

    As i think, the basic reason of increasing rate in divorce is lack of islamic knowleges, if the coule start knowing what Islam says and try to act upon it,i think every problem would be solved!

  28. theitvideos says:

    This is a great article and a good advice shared.

    Just like a marriage, the Divorce this is a biG huGe step in life.

    I agree that couples are becoming impatient and do not compromise as how it used to be back in 70s or 80s.

  29. shahzad says:

    In my opnion, the one of main reasons of divorce rate getting higher in Pakistan is the enconomic situation. It is getting difficult to bear expenses of family these days. Though many women are doing jobs these days but percentage is still very low in Pakistan. So husband is still the sole bread winner in most of the families in Pakistan.

    So when it is difficult to meet daily house hold expenses, it starts affecting marital life like having arguments/fights between husbands & wives leading to divorce.

  30. Muhammad Ramzan says:

    The media is also a huge factor of divorce.Our films and Dramas are examples.
    In all dramas there is a story of educated and highly social socities which are included of divorced story.

  31. somayeh says:

    do you have any references for divorce rate in Pakistan?
    I need statistics on divorce rate in Pakistan and would appreciate it f you could help me.

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