Typically a marriage always starts from a happy note. Both partners are falling in love with each other and early marriage life is really beautiful. They feel that they are really blessed to have found a perfect partner in life. Many couples experience negative changes in their marriages after several years when they start living together and come to know about each other’s habits. Their early happy married lives are replaced by many arguments and fights. The couple cannot live together without having an argument under one roof and when things become unbearable for both than they decide to go for divorce.
”AND IF YOU FEAR THAT THE TWO (I.e) Husband and wife) may not be able to keep the limits ordered by ALLAH, there is no blame on either of them if she redeems herself (from marriage tie) Surah Al Baqarah:
The rate of divorce is increasing in Pakistan from the last few decades. In the past, the word ‘divorce’ was unheard in Pakistani society and it was considered a shame. Pakistan is a conservative country and the word ‘divorce’ comes with a stigma attached to it. Many women who are unhappy will not opt for divorce because of the ‘label’ attached to it. Previously women had to compromise due to various reasons; financial burden, social pressure from society and lack of family support because of that they will remain in an unhappy marriage and will not go for divorce. Parents were also not supportive and when a girl was getting married the first thing they will induce in mind of a girl that you have to compromise no matter what the circumstances are. But things are not the same anymore, mind sets are changing. The most important factor which is contributing in high rate of divorce in Pakistan is financial independence of women, lack of compromise from both sides and intolerant attitude. Women are acquiring higher education and contributing their due share in every sector of society and they are not a burden anymore. Working women who are financially strong are less willing to work on their marriages and can quickly opt for divorce. When a woman is financially strong she doesn’t feel the need to compromise on worst marital relationship.
Women in Pakistan are not the scapegoat of men anymore and they don’t tolerate the dominance of men. Social change has played a vital role in changing the backward mentality of people about women empowerment. Women are able to support their living without anyone’s help. They are fully aware about their rights and know the way to defend them.
The rate of divorce is higher among educated families, although such laws had been made which totally support women seeking divorce and the whole procedure has been made easier. Although Pakistan is a male dominating society and men want their wives to stay at home, look after their children and want them not to think about their career. Sometimes this situation becomes worse due to lack of compromise from both sides and egotistical attitude. Lack of tolerance and compromise among couples plays a vital role in increase in rate of divorce in Pakistan. Compromise is a key factor which can make life easier and save from destruction.
WHAT CAN BE DONE TO REDUCE THE DIVORCE RATE IN PAKISTAN?
There has been a substantial rise in the divorce rate in almost every part of the world in the last decade or so, especially in Pakistan. The question that comes to mind is that what can be done about it? The consequences of divorce are bad, although some people believe otherwise. According to some people, staying in a bad marriage is worse than taking a divorce. Studies being done today suggest that divorce can have a lasting impact on your health
Firstly, commitment is a very important thing. Marriage is not an easy task, and so one must take some time to get to know the other person. If marriage takes place after a very short time period of meeting and getting to know each other, some very crucial details about one another can be overlooked. Therefore, to reduce this risk, decisions should not be made in a hurry and more time should be spent in getting to know the person better. Showing tolerance towards each other is also very important. Patience is the key to any successful marriage.
Forced marriages and early marriages are a reality in Pakistan thus, this needs to be stopped. Marriage is a big decision in one’s life, and should be taken, only when one is mature enough to handle all that comes with it. Compromise is very important, and without it no marriage can succeed. Nowadays, individuals are impatient and this leads to the end of relationships. Compromise can reduce such a thing from occurring. Status needs to be talked about here. Today, we see that people of different classes are marrying each other. Is this really good?
Disparities are created leading to problems in the long run. Thus, it is recommended that you marry in a class that is similar to yours. This would lower the divorce rate. Too much of a third party influence is also one reason why couples end up wanting a divorce. Couples should be able to sort out issues on their own, rather than having someone else cause problems in their lives. At times, the reason for a divorce is also because women don’t take family life seriously, because of their own careers. If this can be looked into, many marriages would not break. Men too, in some cases have the same issue. Although, they are the ones who earn for the family, but still they need to give time and attention to it. A feeling of superiority towards the spouse is another factor that causes problems between the couple. This can be from either side. Divorce can be reduced by correcting this. Lack of privacy also causes divorce. In joint family systems, there is little privacy, which can cause problems between the couple. Many couples choose to live in such a setup because, either they cannot afford to live separately or the husband does not wish to leave his family. If the option is there, one should live separately which would cause less problems, and hence less chances of divorce.
Basically, all the ‘causes’ of divorce should be looked into and corrected. That is the only way, in which the divorce rate can come down. As I see it, there is only one solution and that is ‘Compromise and Sacrifice for each other.’ This will only lead to a happy marriage. Divorce is something that leaves a huge impact in your life. The consequences are bad. It is taken when one has no other option left. Working on your ties is important. A subtle factor which is contributing its share is the glamorous world, where everyone is hunting for his or her ideal. This factor led us away from the facts of real life. That is why, while knowing all the disadvantages of divorce, people go with it. Globally speaking our world can not afford gender imbalance which comes as a result of divorce. Wedlock is not a compulsion but should be the relation of souls. Mutual tolerance and compromise between husband and wife can play a vital role in lowering the rate of divorce in Pakistan.